1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,000
ON TV:  It smells fantastic.
Talk us through a little bit

2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,760
about how you make
your wonderful croissants.

3
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,200
OK, well,
the trick is the lamination,

4
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:09,000
because if you cut it
open like this,

5
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,440
you can see inside,
you've got all these layers.

6
00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:14,600
And that is a combination of butter
and pastry...

7
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,440
Oh, God!

8
00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,040
You woke me up again.

9
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:21,440
How can you hear the kettle
over that TV, Mummy?

10
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,120
Has that been on all night?

11
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,240
I always sleep with the television
on in my own house.

12
00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:27,640
Well, it's not your house
and I need to get to work.

13
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,920
And please, Mummy,
can you tidy up a bit?

14
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,880
It's like living with a student.

15
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,360
I'm homeless, Amanda.

16
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,080
You're not homeless, Mummy.

17
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,560
You're between a four-bedroom house
and a six-bedroom house.

18
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:40,040
And any day now,
we could be exchanging.

19
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,800
Well, while I'm in limbo,
THIS is my bedroom,

20
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,480
and I don't see why
I  should have to tidy up.

21
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,720
I mean, that's exactly
why one has a cleaner.

22
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:50,080
I don't have a cleaner.
I am my own cleaner.

23
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,280
Oh. So I shouldn't put
my used towels in the bath?

24
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:54,800
KETTLE CLICKS

25
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,400
Will you let me know
if the estate agent calls, Mummy?

26
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,880
Yes.  Oh, damn it,
I'm going to be late.

27
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,000
Why is the fridge not working?
Because I turned it off.

28
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,360
Its buzzing annoyed me.

29
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,240
Unbelievable.

30
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,280
And, Mummy, please,
can you open a window?

31
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,080
It stinks in there.

32
00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,600
DOOR OPENS, SLAMS

33
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:28,280
Whoa! There's a lot of dogs
you got there, Fi.

34
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:32,840
Yeah. Hugo, Bobby, Snowball,
and my newest signing, Shakira.

35
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,840
It's great you're so busy.

36
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,800
You're like the Deborah Meaden
of dog walking.

37
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,920
Yeah, I can basically cover
all our household bills now.

38
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,320
So it means when Della gets back,

39
00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:43,680
she can have a proper break
from bloody cooking.

40
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,640
She deserves a sabbatical.

41
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:49,360
It's her turn at the basket weaving,
or whatever she fancies doing.

42
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,680
I wish I was in a lesbian marriage.

43
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,040
Just so considerate.

44
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,680
No offence, JJ.  Oh, none taken. Ha.
When's Della back?

45
00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:00,000
Friday. I cannot wait.
She literally flies in for the prom.

46
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,360
Guys, can you believe that
our babies are going to the proms?

47
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:06,960
Aw, they're all grown-up!  Oh, Fi,
I might have to borrow your high-vis

48
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,840
for the big night because I have
volunteered to man the gangplank.

49
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,360
Ha! Is the prom on a pirate ship?

50
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,160
It's a river cruise.

51
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,600
Surprisingly up-market for Haycroft.
Mm.

52
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,000
And you know what? I think
a prom on a boat is a lovely idea.

53
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,200
ABS:  Yeah, because when I think
of sort of drunk teenagers,

54
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,240
I obviously think open water.

55
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,160
OK, there will be no illegal
substances on my watch,

56
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,240
thank you very much.

57
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:29,880
I know every trick in the book.

58
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,880
I was once a teenager,
too, you know.

59
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:35,520
My friends and I once smuggled
a hamster into mass.  Oh, God.

60
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,280
Is that the hamster story again,
Anne?

61
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:40,480
Er, boys, what are you doing?
There's a game going on here.

62
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:42,160
Guys,
we're in the middle of a match.

63
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,040
What are you playing at? Darius!

64
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:45,760
Oh!  What?!  He's doing his promposal.

65
00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,320
The hell is a promposal?
Who thought of that stupid word?

66
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:49,400
I think it's romantic.

67
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:50,960
I think it's an apromination.

68
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:52,960
Oh, here we go!

69
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,680
Georgina Felicity Maureen...
Maureen?

70
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,920
I know.
That's Johnny's mother's name.

71
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,000
..will you go to prom with me?

72
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,200
Yes!

73
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,520
CHEERING

74
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,400
STRANGED SOB
Oh, Anne...

75
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:10,240
Sorry. Sorry.
I know it's the pregnancy hormones,

76
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,720
but I'm just thinking of my little
Darius and his little tuxedo,

77
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,000
like a tiny James Bond.

78
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,320
Tiny James is the size of
Jaws from James Bond!

79
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,800
Well, spread the word, guys,
cos this year's afterparty

80
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,640
is going to be at Senuous HQ,
aka our house,

81
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,880
and it's going to be lit.
Oh, sorry, Mum.

82
00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:27,160
There's actually been
a change of plan.

83
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:28,920
We're all going to
Becky Salter's house now.

84
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:30,840
Her house is massive
and her parents are getting

85
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,160
the carpets changed anyway, so...

86
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:33,520
Oh, cool. Yeah.

87
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:36,040
That does sound dope, actually.
Yeah.  Yeah.

88
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,320
Well, we'll do the pres.

89
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,280
What are the pres?  Pres. Pre-party.

90
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,320
It's actually way cooler
than the afterparty.

91
00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,520
Girls only, aka the Squad.
CHUCKLING

92
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:46,760
Georgie can be Taylor,

93
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,840
I'll be Selena
and Morten can be Blake.

94
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:52,040
Oh, come on,
at least let me be Gigi.  OK!

95
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,160
AMANDA CHUCKLES

96
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:54,840
Best Mum ever, right?

97
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,120
Mum, you know what would look
amazing with my dress?

98
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,280
What?  Your blue vintage shoes.

99
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,960
They're not vintage.
I wore them in my twenties,

100
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,520
and they cost more than a term
at a mid-table prep, so, no.

101
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,600
All right,
I got me some pres to plan.

102
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,000
Well, while you guys are doing that,

103
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,680
Darius can come to us for a shit and
a shave before the prom if he wants.

104
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,320
Lovely. Yeah.  OK, cool,

105
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,080
so should JJ and I come over
to you and wave them off?

106
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,640
JJ:  Nice. That'd be good.

107
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,440
Yeah. I mean...

108
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,520
O-Or we could do it at yours,
you know?

109
00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:24,160
I'm easy, that's fine with me.  Yeah.

110
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:25,840
Oh, no.
Mal, we should do it at yours

111
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,320
cos then we can all chip in
for the limo.

112
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:28,760
I mean, they're inherently naff,

113
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,560
but teenagers don't seem
to know that, so...

114
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,560
We had a limo at our wedding.
Yeah.  So...

115
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,160
Congratulations.

116
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,840
See you Friday for the pres!

117
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,640
DOOR OPENS

118
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:43,920
I'm back!  Hello.

119
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,480
Any news from the estate agent,
Mummy?

120
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:47,640
Uh-uh.

121
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:50,920
Why are you still in bed?

122
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,440
I need to start setting up
for the party.

123
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,440
Well, it's not my fault
I slept so terribly.

124
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,400
Your downstairs neighbours
started hoovering at 11am.

125
00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,080
How can you even hear
the hoover over that TV?

126
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,400
Please get up, Mummy.

127
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,440
I need to turn this room
into a spa by 2pm

128
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,560
when the girls arrive.
Well, if you're going to be in here,

129
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,000
where exactly am I supposed
to watch Wimbledon?

130
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,680
I'm helping the crew get ready,
so it's not my concern.

131
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,960
This is the designated VI-Pres Area.

132
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,480
AMANDA GASPS
What is this?

133
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,600
Gross, Mummy.  What?

134
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,160
I did it out of the window.

135
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,200
Why are you going through my bins?

136
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,720
Er, MY bins.
Building a coffee table,

137
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,000
I've accidentally dropped a screw.

138
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,920
All right.  Abs has never actually
been inside my flat

139
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,880
and I want to present
as the kind of person

140
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:39,200
who puts their cup
somewhere predictable.

141
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,880
Yeah, ha-ha!

142
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:43,840
Nice screw.

143
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:47,040
Erm, do you think you could ask your
mum to turn the telly down at night?

144
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,040
All I can hear is GB News
from the floorboards.

145
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,760
I'm becoming right wing
through osmosis.

146
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,200
SOFTLY: Well, if I could, I would.

147
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,680
It's like having another teenager.

148
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,080
It's a good job you're going to be
living together, then, innit?

149
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:57,840
Oh, it'll be fine
once we have a moving in date.

150
00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,920
And everyone knows high ceilings
really absorb family tension.

151
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,840
Oh, yeah. Cos that really worked
at Buckingham Palace.

152
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,240
MUFFLED TV PLAYS

153
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,080
OK. Right. Boat leaves at six,

154
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,000
limo arrives at five.

155
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,800
15 minutes for photo ops?

156
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,960
I'll tell make-up
we need everyone ready at 4.30.

157
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,960
She's worked on Strictly
so she'll understand deadlines.

158
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,880
Mummy, those crisps are for the
pres.  I'm only smelling them.

159
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:23,080
DOORBELL CHIMES

160
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,040
It's the guys! So exciting.

161
00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,480
Please don't try and be cool, Mum.
As if.

162
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,240
Mmm!

163
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:32,000
Hey-oh!

164
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,280
Strong nail game. Look at that!
You should hear them texting.

165
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,720
It's like a 1950s typing pool.
Hello.

166
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,720
Della, hug, hug, hug. Welcome back!

167
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,600
Oh, how were the high seas?

168
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,960
Have you seen Below Deck?  No.

169
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,440
Well, that's that comparison
fucked, then.

170
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,480
It's all right if we hang around
to do photos, right?  Hi.

171
00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:51,880
Oh, it's a bit of a drop-off

172
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,160
cos I'm going to be hanging
with the girls.  Hey!

173
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,960
Hi.  Hi.  Uh...  Hiya.

174
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,760
MUFFLED CHATTER INSIDE
OK.

175
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:05,040
TV BLASTS CHEERING
Mummy, it's very loud.

176
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,920
Mummy! Shall we turn that off now?

177
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,440
We've got guests.  Mm-hm.

178
00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:09,800
DOORBELL CHIMES
Elaine's here with Sasha.

179
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,280
Can someone get that?
You a tennis fan, Della?

180
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,680
Never watched it, never played it,

181
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,760
but it's produced some
excellent lesbians,

182
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,400
so, yeah. Yeah. I'm a fan.

183
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,360
Amanda, babe, have you got any vino?

184
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:20,720
Erm...

185
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:24,040
OK. Yeah, I'm just about to take
some drinks up to the girls, Fi,

186
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,880
but I think there's some
wine in the fridge.

187
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,600
Ah, right.

188
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:29,720
That's Mummy's, drink that.

189
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,440
Ooh!  I heard that.

190
00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,080
It's so fun having Della back.  Aw.

191
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,320
And I'm excited to take over
as the breadwinner.

192
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:39,000
SOFTLY:  So I can't wait
to tell her my sabbatical plan.

193
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,480
DOORBELL CHIMES
Aw.

194
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,360
Fi, I think I might be needed now.
OK.

195
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,200
Georgie, the make-up designer.

196
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,000
Hi, there. I'm Claire.  Hello!
I'm sorry I'm a tad late.

197
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,640
The traffic was a nightmare
down from Birmingham.

198
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,960
Oh, for the Strictly tour?
No, my parents live there,

199
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,960
and I'm crashing with them cos
my house burnt down in a fire.

200
00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:00,280
Note to self - don't light candles
and fall asleep in the bath, ha-ha!

201
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,400
Right, where do you want me?
Do you want to do it in my room?

202
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,280
Oh, sweetheart,
I've got it all set up in here.

203
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:05,720
Er, actually, upstairs sounds good,

204
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,400
cos I could do with a bit of space
for all my kit.

205
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,960
Oh, OK.  I'm one of life's spreaders.

206
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,880
I'm a super spreader, you could say.
SHE CHUCKLES

207
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:13,800
So if you can catch it, I'll get it.

208
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,200
I've only just shaken off
conjunctivitis.

209
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,200
Great.  Just up here?  Erm, OK...
Let's get cracking.

210
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,240
Will you be needing this, Claire?
Oh, is that all right?

211
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,560
Sorry.  Yeah, that's fine.
It weighs a tonne.  Yeah.

212
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,320
I slipped a disc last year.
Is that OK?  I've got it.

213
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,480
Can you manage?  Yes! Yes.

214
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:29,920
So exciting!

215
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,320
Hello...
MUFFLED CHATTER

216
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,040
BREATHLESS: OK.

217
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:37,240
Ooh! Loving the vibe.

218
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,280
I'll just pop this...  Oh, yeah.
Brilliant.  ..here,

219
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,240
and I thought maybe I could lend
a hand with the hair.

220
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,480
So I'm going to need a plug
for my straighteners.

221
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,960
Oh, that'd be nice.  Mum, could
we get some drinks, please?

222
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,000
Oh! Er...  Oh, wait. Yeah, no,
I'm actually quite thirsty.

223
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,480
Could we?

224
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:50,960
Can I get a drink, too?

225
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,280
Oh, yes. Yes, sure. Of course.

226
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,000
Mocktails coming right up.  Yep.

227
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,080
Thank you.
Don't do anything fun without me.

228
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,280
Just here, I'll...

229
00:08:58,280 --> 00:08:59,880
COMMENTARY ON TV

230
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,320
PHONE BUZZES

231
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:02,640
Oh, who's calling me?

232
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:05,560
Hello, Amanda speaking.

233
00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:09,080
Oh, hello. It's Tony here from
PoshnClassyLimosandCoaches.com.

234
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,880
Hi.  Listen, bit of bad news,
I'm afraid, my darlin'.

235
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,680
Our driver has just come
down with a migraine.

236
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:15,800
These cocktails are off.

237
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,280
They're not.
They're just non-alcoholic.

238
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:18,720
Sorry, what has this
got to do with me?

239
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,560
Well, I'm afraid we're going
to have to cancel.

240
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,800
What?! No, you can't cancel.

241
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,880
I need that limo.
It's my daughter's prom.

242
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,120
I'm sorry,
but we just don't have a driver

243
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,880
who can handle a vehicle
of that length.

244
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,000
Now, listen,
I don't usually do this because I am

245
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,560
a very modest super influencer,

246
00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:36,000
but my Insta, Senuous, is followed
by a lot of influential people

247
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,240
who could definitely afford
to hire limos, albeit ironically.

248
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:43,680
And all I need to do is post that
you cancelled at the last minute,

249
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:48,080
and, well, that's going to be seen
by a lot of powerful eyeballs.

250
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,960
And you are going to rue the day.

251
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,280
Amanda?  Yes?

252
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:52,640
I'll sort it.

253
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,520
Oh, OK. Thank you.

254
00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,200
All right.

255
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,680
Mummy, please turn the volume down.

256
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:03,680
And have you got your phone on you
in case the estate agent calls?

257
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:06,040
Oh, nag, nag, nag.
I'm not a child, you know.

258
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,960
OK, well, stop acting like one.

259
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,480
Right, drinks time!
LADIES:  Ooh!

260
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:10,840
Nope, not for you.

261
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,600
Girls. It's mocktail o'clocktail!

262
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:14,720
Oh, God!

263
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,800
Guess who didn't put
the lid on the glitter!

264
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,800
Don't worry,
I've got more in the car.

265
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:19,960
Ha-ha, ha!

266
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,600
Girls, only me!

267
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,960
Who wants a Smooch On The Beach?

268
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,920
I think you're going to have to take
it off and start again, George.

269
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,680
It's awful.

270
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,720
What's wrong?

271
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:36,840
Oh.

272
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,560
The make-up designer is so bad, Mum.

273
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,360
She's made me look really old.

274
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,400
She didn't even know
what contouring was.

275
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,480
We had to show her a YouTube video.

276
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,880
No. What? She's worked on Strictly.

277
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,160
Yeah. She did Bill Bailey.

278
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,560
Damn it.  Please, can you ask her
to leave, Mum?

279
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,640
She's going to make us look like
middle-aged receptionists.

280
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:54,280
I can't. I've paid for her,
and she's driven all the way

281
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,880
from Birmingham. And she's so nice.
Please, Mum.

282
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,200
Yeah, it... She does...
You do look hideous, my love.

283
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:03,480
I'm sorry.

284
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,000
I'll sort it.

285
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,880
OK. I've cleaned the bathroom,
I've done the kitchen.

286
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:12,520
Erm, does it smell in here?  Yeah.
It reeks of Febreze and bleach.

287
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:13,840
Oh, right. Great.

288
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,640
There's a lot more space in here.

289
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,360
Have you had a wall taken out?

290
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,720
Er, no. I just put
all the vinyls in the shed

291
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,600
to create a bit of space, you know?

292
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,240
Which reminds me,
do not let Abs in the summer house.

293
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,960
It's a tip,
and anyone who's got a beer

294
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,560
can use one of the coasters, please.

295
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:31,960
Since when did you use coasters?

296
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,600
Since today. It's a new table.
I don't want to get marks on it.

297
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,200
KNOCKING AT DOOR

298
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,360
Oh, shit, they're here.

299
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,200
Hey! Come in. Welcome.

300
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,200
Only us. Everyone decent?
JJ CHUCKLES

301
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,200
Hey, JJ.  You all right, Mum?

302
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:50,320
Hi, baby. Wow!

303
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:53,480
Yeah. So this is
where the magic happens, hey?

304
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,640
Oh, yeah. Of course.
You've never been here.

305
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,960
No, no, I haven't been inside. No.

306
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,600
Ah.  I came to your old place
above the barbers

307
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,920
that was definitely
a money laundering front.

308
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,440
Can I use your bog?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

309
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,760
Straight through.  Great.  Yeah.

310
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,640
Hey, JJ, you want a beer?

311
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:11,040
Oh, sure.  Coaster.

312
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,560
Oh, ha. One shouldn't hurt. Ha!

313
00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,440
JJ, man! Catch.

314
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,800
Yes. Thank you.
I just cleaned the floor.

315
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:24,680
Hmm.

316
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,080
MUFFLED CHATTER

317
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,080
Ah, just the person
I was looking for.

318
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,320
I've only got a parking ticket!
Oh, no.  Oh, classic me.

319
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:32,600
Is everything all right?

320
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,080
TV BLASTS IN BACKGROUND
Yes. Terrific.

321
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,640
Really, really good.  Oh, good.

322
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,040
Er... Sorry, hang on.

323
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,200
Mummy, it's very loud. Turn it down.

324
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,480
UNDER BREATH:  Oh, God.

325
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,600
Er, tell you what,
we're having such a laugh up there.

326
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,440
Those young ladies,
they're a real hoot.

327
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,720
Reminds me of when I used to work
with Carole Smillie.  Aw!

328
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,920
And your Georgie, she's so polite!

329
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,520
She's a real credit to you, Amanda.

330
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,920
Oh, thanks.

331
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:55,040
So, I know we talked about you
doing the full three hours.

332
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,040
Oh, listen, I'm happy to do more.

333
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,720
Er...  I'm just so pleased
to be here.

334
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,120
This is my first gig back
since I finished chemo, so...

335
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,680
Oh, really?  Yeah.  Oh, God.

336
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:08,840
Erm... Well, I was thinking that...

337
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:12,560
Mmm.  ..erm, maybe the girls
could just do their own thang.

338
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:13,720
Are they not happy?

339
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,800
No, not at all. They love it!

340
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,280
They love it.
Yeah, yeah, they love it.

341
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:22,960
No, no, I just thought, erm, er,
that it was a...

342
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,240
It's a bit unfair of them
hogging you all to themselves.

343
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,960
And I know that the other parents
would love a go, too.

344
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:33,400
So we can all look good
for the photos as well.

345
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,600
Oh!
AMANDA CHUCKLES

346
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,200
Of course!

347
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,280
That's so sweet.  Oh, no.

348
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,760
Yeah, listen, I'll grab some
more brushes.  OK, yeah.

349
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:44,520
And then I'll give
this lot a once-over.  OK.

350
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,800
Hey, shall I start on you, mmm?
Tease that jawline out? Eh?

351
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,880
Amanda's so nice letting you
go first.

352
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,400
I feel like a princess.
BOTH CHUCKLE

353
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,320
I've never had a makeover before.

354
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,000
Don't you start.
You'll get me going.

355
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,440
I'm so sorry.

356
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:03,920
Good news.

357
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:06,280
I managed to ditch daggy old Claire.

358
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,880
So here I am to lend a hand.

359
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,360
That's really nice of you,
but, erm, GanGan's helping us out.

360
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,280
Oh.  What?

361
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,480
I used to be a model,
so I'm virtually a professional.

362
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,080
Well, for your information,
I actually could have been a model.

363
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,920
No, you couldn't have been a model.
You've got your father's shoulders.

364
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,440
It's all good, Mum.
We'll be down in a minute.

365
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,640
Love you.

366
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,280
OK, who's for a top up?

367
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,360
ALL FUSSING

368
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,320
Busted! Mummy!

369
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,920
HISSES: What do you think
you're doing?!

370
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,960
It's just a tiny tipple. Relax.

371
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,640
SOFTLY: I said no booze.
My roof, my rules.

372
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,960
For now.  Amanda, the limo's here!

373
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,720
Thank God.

374
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,200
You may be a model,
but you are no role model.

375
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,080
I'll be right back.  Oh, wow.

376
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,000
I am loving
the Barbara Cartlands, babe.

377
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,960
I'll have a go next.
Don't blink with your eyelids.

378
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,840
You'll get glued together!
THEY LAUGH

379
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,600
HORN HONKS
Tony. Hi.  Amanda!

380
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,920
Yes, hello.  Oh, can I just say...
Yeah. Yeah.

381
00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,440
..big fan of your underwear.

382
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,400
OK, erm, we're not quite ready,

383
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,960
so if you could just do a lap
of the block

384
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,160
and I'll give you a call
when I'm ready.

385
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,360
Do you know how long
you're going to be?

386
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,160
Because I've got to get back
to the switchboard, so...  Not...

387
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,200
Not long. Not long.
But just take the first left

388
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,840
and you can do
a loop around the block.

389
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,280
Well, that does look a bit tight.

390
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,240
I don't usually drive the limo.

391
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,040
It's... It's fine.
Just keep circling.

392
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,080
Well, we do need to leave soon,
though!

393
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,560
You're the professional, Claire.

394
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,920
Make me look gorgeous.  Oh, what fun!

395
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,000
You're my favourite sort of client!

396
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,160
Right, I'm thinking something
really funky.

397
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,240
It's so lovely to have you back.

398
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,760
I've got a rather interesting plan
I'd love to pass by you,

399
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,600
if that's all right?  Sorry, bab.
Can you just keep still?

400
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,040
I'm going to start on your lips.
Oh, yeah. Sorry. Ha.

401
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,080
I'll go first. I have something
to say to you as well.

402
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,240
DELLA INHALES, EXHALES

403
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:46,120
So the investors behind the cruise
were really impressed...  Mm-hm.

404
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,680
..with what I did.  Uh-huh.

405
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,280
And, erm, and long story short,

406
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:53,560
they've offered me
my own restaurant.

407
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,760
Oh!  Ooh!  Really?!

408
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,760
Where's that, then? In London?

409
00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:59,000
No, er...

410
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,760
In Miami!  Oh.  Wow!

411
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,160
Fi, Fi, can you just hold still?

412
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,440
Oh, yeah. Sorry.

413
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,520
I mean, the weather is great
all year round,

414
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:09,120
and we can easily get
a pet passport for Bobby.

415
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,240
Wow.  Oh.  That's so fancy.

416
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:13,600
I'd love to go to Miami.

417
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,640
I've never been,
but I've seen CSI Miami...

418
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,160
Ahh!  Oh, my God, are you OK?
Oh, oh, oh!

419
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,000
I picked up the hot end of the
hair straighteners, oh, again!

420
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,280
Oh, when will I learn?

421
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,120
Oh, I can't believe
how handsome you look.

422
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,720
I'm going to send these
to all the Pats.  Ha-ha.

423
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,400
Now get behind me and hold the bump.

424
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,560
Oh, my... What? No, that's weird.
DOOR OPENS

425
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,040
Erm, sit on my knee?

426
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,680
No!  Oh, I know.

427
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,640
Why don't we press our cheeks
together?  Mum!

428
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,120
This is getting creepy now.

429
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:39,200
SHUTTER CLICKS

430
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,480
Jesus, is it that time already?!
I have to go to the boat.

431
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,200
It leaves at six. Don't be late.
Thank God.

432
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:45,440
Bye, Anne.

433
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:47,320
MUFFLED PARTY CLAMOUR

434
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:52,080
Listen, sorry if I was a bit
of a party pooper back then,

435
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,800
but to make up for it,

436
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,440
I wondered if you wanted
to borrow my shoes.

437
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,480
Oh, my gosh, thank you so much.

438
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,360
I'm a very petite size nine,
so I'm sure you can make them work.

439
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:04,560
I love them.  Aw!

440
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:07,160
Why don't you wear the sliders
on board to save your arches? Yeah?

441
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,200
I love you.  I love you.  Thank you.

442
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,480
Oh, and if it's cool with you
and the squad,

443
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,800
maybe I can come in just
for the finishing touches.

444
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,440
Come on.  OK.

445
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,200
PHONE BUZZES

446
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,800
Oh, what now?

447
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,560
Ugh.

448
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,680
Yes?

449
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,720
What?

450
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,360
There you go.  Ha.

451
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:30,800
Oh, boys!

452
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,440
That's a lot of aftershave, huh?

453
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:33,640
Right, where's your mum?

454
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,720
Well, she's in Luton.

455
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,280
Sorry, you mean Abs, don't you?

456
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,200
Er, I think she's in the garden.

457
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:40,520
Hold that. Shit!

458
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,800
I told you not
to let her near the shed!

459
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,040
Ahem.

460
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,400
Famous shed.

461
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,360
Yeah, technically, it's a...
It's a summerhouse.

462
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:57,880
Yeah, normally,
we keep the vinyl in...

463
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,240
Not in here.  Mmm.

464
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:03,840
So it feels bigger and, erm...

465
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:10,200
All right. Look, Abs, I see you
poking around with your judgy looks.

466
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,640
My flat's not huge
and the phone reception's shit

467
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,840
and half of Ned's bedroom
is in the back garden.

468
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,000
But it's a nice flat,

469
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,600
and the neighbours are lovely,
and we like it here.

470
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,960
So stop behaving like...

471
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,200
SHE CHUCKLES

472
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,440
What?  You're such a tit.

473
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,120
What I was thinking was,

474
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:31,040
"Holy shit.
Mal's sorted his life out."

475
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,120
You've got a toilet roll
on the thingy.

476
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:34,280
You've got two types of sugar.

477
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,360
You've built a fucking den.

478
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,120
Technically, it's a summerhouse.

479
00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:40,160
Yeah, well,
it's remarkable for a man

480
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,520
who used to use a sock as a wallet.
HE SCOFFS

481
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:45,320
No, you're like a fully functioning
human being, mate.

482
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,080
And you're a really, really,
really great dad.

483
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,520
And, yeah,
I just never thought I'd say it,

484
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,520
but you've nailed being a grown-up.

485
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,480
Thanks.  Yeah.

486
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:03,240
I hope it's OK for me
to say this, but, um...

487
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,160
..us not being married any more
is definitely...

488
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:08,680
I totally agree.

489
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:11,920
THEY LAUGH

490
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,440
JJ GRUNTS, ABS LAUGHS

491
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,080
Love you guys.

492
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,600
Are you pissed, JJ?

493
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,920
Yep.  Yeah!

494
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,320
Erm, why are we
all hugging in my shed?

495
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,640
Oh, my God.  Oh, my...

496
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:31,200
Look!  Look at this
handsome young man.

497
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,760
Get in here, man.  You look amazing!

498
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,080
Lady killer!  Yeah!  I can't move.

499
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:39,520
Oi, you lot. The limo's here.
Are we going or what?

500
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,240
Are you OK?  Mm-hm.

501
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,240
Wow, right?  Oh, my God.

502
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,520
Open jacket, please.

503
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:51,960
Anything in there?

504
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,800
Nothing.  Nothing, OK.

505
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,720
On you go. Hello.

506
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,960
SCANNER WHIRS

507
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,640
Hi. Can you open your purse, please?

508
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:02,000
Turn around.

509
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,240
Sorry, what is that?

510
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,160
Water.

511
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,840
Good, you're staying hydrated.
That's great.

512
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,160
On you go.

513
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,080
Open your bag.

514
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,960
Tony, please!  It's not as simple
as that, Amanda!

515
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,520
It was a...
That's like so much space.

516
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:14,760
I've just scraped it in there.

517
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,720
It's just...
It's really unfortunate.

518
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,400
OVERLAPPING SPEECH
I can't believe you got it stuck.

519
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,280
I normally just man the phones.

520
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,640
How...?  What's going on?

521
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,280
Tony has got the limo stuck

522
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,000
and they are literally
going to miss the boat.

523
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,400
The girls are coming down, Mandy!

524
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,240
Oh, my God! Move the car!

525
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,680
How? I can't change physics.

526
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,560
It's like, God...
CAR HORN HONKS

527
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,280
Just...  Great.  Yes.
That's all I need.

528
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,360
That's what I need!  Move your limo,
you're blocking the street.

529
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,200
CAR HORN DROWNS OUT CHATTER

530
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,920
Oh, my God.  Oh, my God.
Oh, sweetheart!

531
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,720
Babe, you look amazing.

532
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,240
Doesn't she look stunning?

533
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,760
You look so beautiful, babe.  Aw!

534
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,080
What's happening with the limo?

535
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,080
Oh, God.
We're not going to be late, are we?

536
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,160
If I...  Tony, we have to get to the
prom.  Right. Hold my wine.

537
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:56,880
We don't have time for this, please!
What are you doing?

538
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,320
Sorting shit out.

539
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,640
I drive a 15-year-old transit
with a knackered clutch.

540
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,240
BICKERING CONTINUES
This should be a piece of piss.

541
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,600
It's stuck, Amanda!
Oi, matey. Give me the keys.

542
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,560
OK.  Hurry up! We're late.  Hurry up!

543
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,120
Hey, you in the black car! Back up.

544
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:11,640
OK, Tony. Out of the way!
I...  Out of the way!

545
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,360
TONY SPLUTTERS
Your missus is a boss lady now.

546
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:17,760
What?  She can reverse park
like a demon.

547
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,240
Are we talking about the same Fiona?

548
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,480
CHUCKLES:  Oh, yes.

549
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,840
Mind the bollard! Mind the bollard!

550
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:40,880
CHEERING

551
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,240
Here you go, mate.

552
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,200
CHEERING CONTINUES
Nice!

553
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:49,280
Bloody hell. Who is this new woman?
HORN HONKS

554
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,320
Go, you're late! You're late!
You're late! Go, go, go!

555
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:52,880
OK, love you.  Photos...!

556
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,960
I love you!

557
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,560
Mum, we really need to go.

558
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,160
God! Just a sec. Just a sec.

559
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,040
Mum, you take it!  Oh, no!

560
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,840
How does this thing work?
Just take it, Mummy, quickly!

561
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,480
Mum, we've got to go.
We've got to go.

562
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,360
We don't have time, Amanda!
Go, go, go!

563
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:07,960
SQUEALING

564
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,800
Enjoy yourselves!
This only happens once.

565
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,080
Bye-bye!  See you!

566
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,480
See you, mate.
GIRLS: Thanks very much!

567
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,920
Bye, darling!  Have a lovely prom.
Have a good time!

568
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,640
Bye!

569
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,000
Just wish I'd had a bit
more time with them.

570
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,920
Right, who else wants to get
a makeover?

571
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,760
Oh, no, someone's left their bag.

572
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,840
Oh, no.

573
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:29,760
Whose are these?
Oh, God, they're Georgie's.

574
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:33,480
She's wearing sliders.
You can't wear sliders to the prom.

575
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:36,520
This is a nightmare. Oh...

576
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:37,880
Right, get in the van.

577
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,760
Come on. Come on!

578
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,200
Oh, God. Will we make it?

579
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,360
Well, there's only one way
to find out.

580
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:45,680
ENGINE IGNITES
Let's go.

581
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:48,000
DULL THUD
Oh...  Oh!

582
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:50,920
I think we just backed into Claire.

583
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,280
I'm fine. I'm fine.

584
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,680
Sorry.  It was my fault anyway.

585
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,720
She's fine. OK. Go, go, go!

586
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,320
SCANNER WHIRS

587
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,880
SHE CLEARS THROAT

588
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,880
What are these?

589
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,080
Antacids.

590
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:10,880
Do you get the...?

591
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,200
Oh, God, it's terrible.
Yeah, me too. It's a scourge.

592
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,400
Go on. In you go. Have a good night.

593
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,800
Hi. Sorry. Can we hurry this up
a bit, please, Darius's mum?

594
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:22,880
It's just the boat driver
wants to take off.  OK.  Cool.

595
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,640
THEY LAUGH, MUSIC BLASTS

596
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,720
Honestly, the one time
they're not glued to their phones.

597
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,480
Oh, shit!

598
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,320
Mal, it's 5.49.

599
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:38,920
How do we stop the boat?

600
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,680
Well, there is one person
you could call.

601
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,960
PHONE BUZZES

602
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,760
Hi, Amanda. Everything OK?

603
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,760
Anne, you have to delay the boat.

604
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,080
But we're nearly all aboard.
Georgie has forgotten her shoes

605
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:52,600
and I need to bring them to her.

606
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,920
Please, Anne, we're nearly there.

607
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:56,200
Leave it with me.

608
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:57,480
Thank you.

609
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:58,720
You know what, lads?

610
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,280
I don't think I've searched
you thoroughly enough.

611
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,360
My God, this whole stupid afternoon
has been an absolute flop.

612
00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:11,120
What? Kids had a great time.

613
00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:12,920
Yeah, but I didn't get to join in.

614
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,920
Not that Georgie
wanted me there anyway.

615
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,320
Georgie's finding her groove.  Mmm.

616
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,080
You should be proud.

617
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:21,080
Getting her ready to fly the nest
like your mum got you ready.

618
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,440
And now here I am,
moving back in with her.

619
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:24,640
Well, for what it's worth,

620
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:25,800
I'm going to miss you.

621
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,560
Oh, my God, there it is!
There it is, Mal.

622
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,440
That's the turning.  Yep, I got it.

623
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:33,960
INDISTINCT CHATTER

624
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,000
Five minutes. Let's go.
Oh, my God.  Let's go.

625
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,360
I forgot my shoes.
I forgot my shoes!

626
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:41,200
Oh, my God. What am I going to do?
I can't go to prom in sliders!

627
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,200
OK, OK. I mean, they look good.  Oh!

628
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:44,680
Does anyone know
where I can turn around?

629
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,120
No! Oh, my God, you're kidding me!
HORNS HONKING

630
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,080
All right,
the limousine is stuck again,

631
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,640
but it's just a couple
of hundred yards away.

632
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,880
If you sprint,
you might just make it.  Right.

633
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:58,640
The door!

634
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,560
Madam, we really need to go.

635
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:03,240
Don't touch me!
Don't touch me! I'm pregnant.

636
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,480
Georgie,
is there any sign of your mum?

637
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,920
Because I don't think
I can hang on any longer.

638
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,160
No.  OK, we should get on the boat,
George.

639
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,360
Don't worry.
If your heels don't arrive,

640
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:14,640
some of the best times of my life
have been had in comfortable shoes.

641
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,280
IN DISTANCE: Georgie!

642
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,120
Oh, my God, is that your mum?

643
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:19,360
There she is.

644
00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:21,480
Georgie! Hold the boat!

645
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,080
CHEERING

646
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:24,920
I've got your shoes!

647
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,800
CHANTING:  Amanda! Amanda! Amanda!

648
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,880
Mum, hurry up!
CHANTING CONTINUES

649
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,040
Just... Sorry.

650
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,080
Oh!

651
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:38,480
SHE COUGHS

652
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:39,560
That's vodka.

653
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,160
What?  Oh, no...

654
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,960
Thank you so much.  My darling!
I love you!  All aboard! Come on!

655
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,840
Quick!  I love you.  Thanks, Mum.

656
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,280
My sweetheart,
have the most wonderful prom.

657
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,560
And try not to spill any sticky
drinks on those shoes, please.

658
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,760
I won't.  They're satin.

659
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,080
Just get on the boat.
BOAT HORN BLARES

660
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,800
And three, two, one...

661
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:02,280
CHEERING

662
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:03,920
These are so hard to walk in.

663
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,320
I'm going back to sliders.

664
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,640
Mum! I'll stick with the flats.

665
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:10,880
Catch!

666
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,280
SCREECHES: Doesn't matter!

667
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,320
Have the best time, my sweetheart.

668
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:19,800
Thanks.

669
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:25,560
Anne, quick! I can still see them.

670
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:28,400
Can you swim?
I mean, I've got my 20m.

671
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,160
BOAT HORN BLARES

672
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,200
I'm absolutely gasping.

673
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,880
Can you believe
our baby's gone to prom?

674
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,320
It's mad, innit?

675
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,480
Do you know, I can't take anything
that you're saying seriously

676
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,000
with that make-up on.
I asked for a Kardashian.

677
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,320
Ha-ha! Well, you got Fanny Cradock.

678
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:47,560
Ha-ha.

679
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,640
Nice driving back there.

680
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,000
I've never seen you take charge
like that before.

681
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,240
I'm a dog walker now.  Mm-hm.

682
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:56,880
What I say goes.

683
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,400
Ask the dogs.

684
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:02,840
You don't want to move, do you?

685
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:07,280
Not really.  Huh.

686
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,040
I mean, you know I love you...

687
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,320
..but this is the first time
in years I feel settled,

688
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,200
and Morts has got sixth form
and we've got friends.

689
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:22,600
And I'm not just jealous wife Fi,
I'm utterly barking Fi now.

690
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,080
I'm going to say no to the offer.

691
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:27,880
No, no. Go to Miami, babe.

692
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,000
You've got to do it.

693
00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:32,600
But we're going to stay here.

694
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:35,480
We've made it work
for the last year.

695
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:36,800
We can do a bit longer.

696
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,480
I'm going to take
these eyelashes off.

697
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,320
Hello!

698
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:50,800
Is everyone gone now?  Well, nearly.

699
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,880
The make-up lady's
upstairs washing her brushes.

700
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,520
Oh, God. She's still here.

701
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,280
How did it go?  Well...

702
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:58,880
..Georgie got her photo,

703
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:00,840
and then my shoes fell
in the Thames.

704
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:04,440
Oh. Well, that's what being
a mother is about in the end.

705
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,400
Emergencies and cheerleading.  Yes.

706
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,080
I think you're doing fantastically.

707
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,760
Oh, Mummy.  Mm-hm.

708
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:13,920
The estate agent called, by the way,

709
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,920
and we officially exchange
on Monday.

710
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,320
Mummy...

711
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,880
..I don't think
we should move in together.

712
00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:32,200
Oh!

713
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,080
What a relief.
I couldn't agree more.

714
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,320
Oh, Mummy!

715
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,640
Really? Oh!
I think we'd kill each other.

716
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:41,320
Georgian proportions aren't
worth the jail time.

717
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,440
Let's just stick to being mother
and daughter and not roommates.

718
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:46,400
Yes. Aw.

719
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,240
Oh, Mummy, do you think
you'll lose the deposit, though?

720
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,000
Well, no, because I'm still going
to buy the house.

721
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,120
I just don't think you
should live there with me.

722
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,920
Wait, what? But...

723
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:57,320
But that's my house.

724
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:58,560
Well, it's my house now, darling.

725
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,400
And we're going to be neighbours.

726
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,600
And if you ever want
to pop in for a coffee,

727
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,400
my door will always be open.

728
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:06,240
Right! That's me done.

729
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,760
Honestly, I've had the best time.

730
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:09,880
I can't thank you enough.
Thanks, Claire.

731
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,800
Really, I've just
had the loveliest after...

732
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,360
CLAIRE SHOUTS, THUDDING

733
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:18,720
I'm fine!

734
00:29:18,770 --> 00:29:23,320
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